I got so many ways to achieve that.
Either look up the sky, or find a place nobody know and crying by myself.
It does not mean that I dont like to share things with others, actually, I prefer to share happiesness with others more then sadness. Since my childhood, I was be told that I need to be a big girl, a tough girl. And I was be trained to be that as well. I have to face those problems by myself and find the way to slove them. There should not have the word 'escape‘ in my dictionary. Even when I got the notice of critically ill from the hospital in my 13 years of age, I still knew how to keep a smile on my face to everyone who cares about me. It was hard...but also I seems get used to be living in that way.
However, I dont know when it starts, I begin to looking for an shoulder that can afford the weight of my tears, and an embrace which can replace the quiet places where I used to go and cry. Maybe because I am getting tired, maybe because that too much emtion has been suppressed too long. I dont know. I became particularly vulnerable to trust others. But as the outcome of deception and betrayal，then I stopped. Yes, I am afraid. I even begin to thinking that maybe I am that kind of person better to be alone and have to be alone. These men were just too evil to me.
While today, when I almost lost my control of the emotion, I got a shoulder and a hug. I dont know how to describe that feeling, I do want to cry out loud, but I didnt. Maybe I havent get used to have a shoulder and a hug.
I was planning to have some Vodaka tonight, but I changed my mind. Instead, I wrote a lot on my blog and watched cartoons. I guess, it's because of your. MY MR. Charming. I have to say thanks again, and you have to take it. Cheers~
Oh, and I had a big dinner tonight, cooked a lot. I'd like to share some with you. Hope you and your friends had a nice dinner as well.
Hot spicy fish and bacon&eggplant
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